A Lesson on Trust . . . .

From the beginning of our relationship, God used my marriage and three children to convict and speak truth to my heart.  Believing that some of those lessons might encourage you, I asked for (and received) permission from my family to write a series of posts featuring a few of those lessons.  I offer them (not in chronological order but as the Lord leads) in the hope that God’s loving faithfulness will speak encouragement to your hearts. 

Conviction: the act or process of finding a person guilty of a crime especially in a court of law; the act of convincing a person of error or of compelling the admission of a truth; the state of being convinced of error or compelled to admit the truth.*

It took me a while to learn that: when God’s Spirit works conviction in a Believers heart, His intent is blessing. Jesus confirmed this as He spoke about the role of the Holy Spirit before He was arrested:

“But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on His own; He will speak only what He hears, and He will tell you what is yet to come. He will glorify me because it is from me that He will receive what He will make known to you.”
John 16:13, 14

Once we have repented of our sins and embraced Jesus as Lord and Savior,
God’s Spirit convicts our hearts to free us from the plague of sin that pulls us down.
God does not “guilt” His kids into submission,
but convicts to free us to serve Him well.

Love “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” I Corinthians 13:7, 8

It had been a rough couple of years.  I did everything I could to roadblock our 15-year-old firstborn’s penchant for excitement, ever fearful of the lasting harm that it could bring on her.  My husband, then a pilot for the US military, seemed to be away more than he was home.  Much of the time I felt as if I was a single mom.  My lifetime dream of being a mother had become a nightmare as fear and resentment grew in my heart.

Then one day it happened: I became convicted that I had lost sight of loving my daughter.  I realized that I was so busy roadblocking her every move that I had forgotten to lean on God for the wisdom and perspective I lacked.  I was horrified as I wondered, how I had fallen into such a trap?  Part of me was tempted to start beating myself up over it.   Instead, I opened up my Bible to 1 Corinthians 13, the Love Chapter.  Intent on making things right with God’s help, I read each piece of instruction aloud as I committed to apply it to my daughter:

“Love is patient” . . . “Yes Lord, I can be more patient with Kara.”
“Love is kind” . . . “Yes, Father, I certainly can be kinder than I’ve been lately.
Love . . . is not proud . . . is not easily angered . . . keeps no record of wrongs . . . .” I responded without flinching, “Yes Lord, I am willing to do all of those things.”  

I continued until I got to verses 7 and 8,

Love–“always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

I started to choke (literally!) and confessed in a panic, “But Lord, I CAN’T trust her right now . . . we have a track record . . . she’s 15!”

It was then that I heard what is referred to in the Bible as, “that still, small voice”, speak softly but firmly:
“But you CAN trust ME!”

It took a moment to process what had been spoken to my heart.  Then suddenly, the burden I had carried far too long, rolled from my shoulders as I thought, “Yes Lord . . . YES!  I can and DO trust You!”

Looking back it is still amazing how easy it was to love my daughter again.  Once I handed that burden over to Him I was FREE!  Oh, there were still challenges that came up, but when I responded with loving kindness and refused to keep that record of wrongs, I was freed to love and even enjoy my daughter.

After several months passed, a friend mentioned something Kara had done that I knew nothing about.  I decided to mention it when she arrived home from school, not so much to accuse her, but to ask if she’d really done it?  When she came in we chatted about school before I asked, “Kara, did you really . . . ?”  (Don’t ask me what it was, I’ve totally forgotten.)

Kara stood quietly looking at me for several minutes before pounding her fist on the table, “Doggone it Mom–I give up!  Every time I try to get away with anything, God totally rats on me.  I give up!”

Stunned, I started laughing as Kara grinned back at me.

Lesson learned: Conviction by the Holy Spirit + Humble Repentance ->
Opportunity to go deeper in our relationship with Him
as we TRUST Him more

All to His Glory!

*Definition of conviction taken from Merriam-Webster Dictionary at: merriam-webster.com

 

 

Simple Kindness, Prayerfully Applied . . . .

It wasn’t until we lived in England, that I learned there is a difference between niceness and kindness.  As one friend put it, “Kathie, ice cream is ‘nice’, kindness goes deeper.”  Looking at several dictionaries this morning, I found the distinction between the two terms is best understood by considering what is at the root of what niceness and kindness do and do not communicate:

Niceness: Synonyms–befitting, correct, decent, well-bred, proper, polite, respectable, seemly.  Antonyms–improper, inappropriate, incorrect, indecent, indecorous, unbecoming, ungenteel, unseemly

Kindness:  Synonyms–benevolence, courtesy, grace, indulgence, favor, mercy, service.  Antonyms: coldheartedness, hard-heartedness, inhumanity, inhumanness, mercilessness, pitilessness

Niceness can tend to be a bit flashy (i.e. “Look at what I just did!”), kindness is more simply applied as it focuses on the needs of others.  It all boils down to this:

Love is kind . . . .

Love is kind . . . .

Niceness is about outward appearances,
Simple kindness, is often sacrificial as it reflects what is in the heart.
Simple kindness is a fruit of God’s Spirit.
Simple kindness, prayerfully applied, is rooted in God’s love. 
“It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,

it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 

I Corinthians 13:5

When asked, “Who is my neighbor?” Jesus told a story about two societal “nice guys” and another man, viewed a societal reject in that day, who none-the-less, demonstrated simple kindness:

“A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him  . . . beat him and . . . left him half dead.  A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.  So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.  But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him.  He . . . bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’  (Luke 10:30-35)

Jesus then asked this very important question,

“Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” (verse 36)

The “expert in the law” responded to Jesus’ question–avoiding even mentioning the word, “Samaritan”–answered,  “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him (and continues to tell us), “Go and do likewise.”  (verse 37)

The Scriptures continue to call you and I to,

GO . . . “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:29),

GO . . . “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”  (Romans 12:10)

GO . . . “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21)

What I have learned this week as I have thought about kindness is that:

To act in the simple kindness of Christ, does not require a lot of fanfare,
but for it to be truly effective as a fruit of God’s Spirit,
prayer is essential.

In my last post I wrote about the Duggar’s, a Christian family featured on a reality TV program called, Nineteen Kids and Counting.  Normally I would not write about people on a television program, but as I have watched this family be (essentially) ‘beaten and left for dead’ by elements of the societal elite of our day, I have been challenged to think about MY role in their story.  Am I one of the “nice guys” full of self-importance, who says, “Too bad for them”, as I continue on my busy way?  Or, do I stop and apply simple kindness by praying for the family and asking, “God, what would you have me do?”  

How about you?  Are there people or situations that you are aware of, but manage to “pass by on the other side”, because you feel like you cannot take on one more thing?  Perhaps you avoid listening to the news (like I sometimes do) because it is always seems to be so . . . dare I say it? . . . not very nice.  What I am learning is that, although the world is not a nice place to live and sometimes is even scary, simple kindness applies prayer to every situation, looking to Christ for wisdom as to when and how to help.  Simple kindness challenges each one of us to set aside fear, and even our busyness, as we learn what living by faith is truly all about.  

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved,
clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus,
giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”
Colossians 3:12 & 17

All to His Glory!