“Know therefore that the LORD your God is God;
He is the faithful God, keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations
of those who love Him and keep His commands.”
As I reflect on my life before Christ took hold of me, the word that best described me was FEARFUL. I hid most of my insecurities behind blustery language, but deep down I was plagued by a multitude of fears. The thought of dying and leaving my daughters without a mother plagued me. I had been sick off and on for several years with bouts of nausea and debilitating weakness. Doctors ran multiple tests but found nothing wrong. I remember talking with God about my fears for my daughters being left without a mom to care for them. It may seem silly, but one of my concerns I raised to God was that their dad wouldn’t be able to attend to their personal needs- such as putting their hair in ponytails.
It was probably a year later, we were still living in California, my health had stabilized and I became pregnant. Life was good and all seemed right with the world. On June 23 of that year I was 25 weeks along in my pregnancy. My husband, a military pilot, was 3,000 miles away on the East Coast and called that evening to say he would be heading to Egypt on a mission the next morning. I picked up our oldest daughter from camp that day, and felt so very grateful to tuck both of our little girls into bed safe and sound that evening. In the middle of the night I woke up feeling a wetness and discovered I was bleeding vaginally. Thankfully, we had good neighbors I could call on. Fully expecting that I would probably be put on “bed rest,” I assumed I would be home before the girls woke up. Little did I know that my world was about to be turned upside down; that I would remain in the hospital two and a half months! I remained on bed rest until our son was born 9 weeks premature on July 26. I was then allowed to remain on patient status to nurse our son (we lived over an hour away from the hospital) until we were released in early September.
One Saturday morning before our son was born I watched excitedly through the window of my top floor room for my husbands’ arrival with our daughters (then ages 5 and 3.) It had been several weeks since I had seen the girls because they were being cared for by some of our family 300 miles away. I remember finally spotting them getting out of our car in the parking lot. As they followed my husband on the sidewalk I could see them jumping and twirling, happy as two little larks. It took several minutes for them to enter the building and then ride the elevator upstairs to the maternity and neonatal unit. When they did finally arrive I saw them from down the long hallway; my husband walking his usual steady gait and the girls quite happily shaking their heads and jumping up and down like Mexican jumping beans– bounce, bounce, bounce! As they got closer I finally figured out what inspired their funny antics . . . they had their hair in ponytails! They were delighted with themselves as they made their ponytails swing as they bounced, and beamed when I laughingly gave my approval. I asked my husband how he managed to do ponytails for them? He explained that they had requested them so he took them to the beauty parlor near our house to have them done! I found myself laughing out loud at our funny little girls in their bouncing. I also was able to laugh at myself as God gently spoke to my heart. My husband never knew about my deep-seated fears but my faithful Shepherd did. That day He settled one of my fears with two pairs of bouncing ponytails as He assured me that He would indeed provide for my little girls in sweet and tender ways.
Thank You Father for the creative and tender ways you take care of Your kids. It has been over 3o years since you stepped in and ministered to me through those ponytails, and You have continued to prove Yourself faithful even when I have at times been faithless. You are indeed a totally awesome God!
“The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
Those who know Your name will trust in You, for You, LORD,
have never forsaken those who seek You.”