For weeks I had struggled . . . my heart and mind still hearing Dad’s labored breathing as he whispered, “I love you” three thousand miles away. Wanting to be with him, yet having to wait until the time was right (God’s mysterious love working good things out), it was painful to finally see him face-to-face: changed yet still offering that gentle smile that said, “I love you.”
I left him in the late afternoon, looking like he was feeling better after a breathing treatment had been applied. Yet hours later, we received a call telling us that Dad was being taken to the Emergency Room–struggling to stay alive. What we saw when we arrived was a Dad we never wanted to see–our Dad silently experiencing a nightmare of unbelievable proportions written all over his face. We wondered, “Is this the end?” for our gentle Dad who so faithfully tended to his family all of his life? We waited . . . we prayed and we wondered . . . what would God have us do as death loomed larger than life over this man we are privileged to call “Dad”? At eighty-six Dad has lived a good life . . . was it to end like this?
I thought of Jeremiah’s hope expressed in Lamentations 3:22-24,Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.”
It was a long journey through that night . . . Dad hung on and we continued to wait for God’s direction. When morning arrived we continued to wait, dreading the thought of having to “pull the plug” on the life we held so dear.
Finally, it was as if the heavens opened up when we were told there was an option–to treat the pneumonia that had gotten really bad. It was only a shot but we decided to try to treat the pneumonia and trust God for the outcome. Right now I am in ICU with Dad, grateful for the quiet shelter provided us. As nurses, technicians and doctors come and go, I wait and trust as I listen to his quiet breathing. What God has in store for us I do not know, but I trust in His mysterious love being worked out in Dad’s life for our good and to His Glory.
Are you in a place where the Journey is rough and you do not know how much more you can take? Be encouraged as I am, by the wisdom and hope given us by Jeremiah:“The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him.”
All to His Glory!