Category: Forgiveness

Christmas Peace . . . .

~ Kathie at HisGlory SM ~ 4 Comments

It started this past fall.  Friends had told me about a struggling young woman who occasionally showed up at our church.  Professing faith in Christ yet full of doubt, anger and self-recrimination, I began to pray . . . .

When I finally did meet Sonia (not her real name) I appreciated her honesty in expressing her struggles and was slightly intimidated by the intensity of her passion. Most of all, I was impressed by Sonia’s goal for counseling:

“To be healthy, happy, whole
and God-minded,”

 even as she lamented, “PEACE is what I want–and do not have.”  

Seeing that she had left a question blank on the Intake Form all Clients fill out before our first meeting, “Do you have a favorite saying?”, I recommended a favorite I use when I’m struggling,

“THANK YOU, GOD, THAT YOU LOVE ME.”

With every Session that followed, Sonia unfolded her story of heartache, disappointment and resentment.  Week after week we dove into the Scriptures:

  • To see God as a merciful Shepherd in both the Old and New Testaments.
  • To gain wisdom and perspective into how God uses the hard things in life to draw us closer to Himself.
  • To talk about how pride and resentment separate us from God, and how humility before God brings us peace.

As we searched, Sonia appeared appreciative of what the Scriptures said, but invariably every Session ended with this roadblock:

“Why would God allow me to suffer the pain of hurt and rejection,
if He is truly a loving God?”

Sometimes reframing a question can be the biggest help to moving toward a solution.  In Sonia’s case, we began to look at why she blamed God for her suffering, when it was people who had sinned against her.  We turned to Genesis to consider the first instances of blameshifting:

“And God said, ‘Who told you that you were naked?
Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?’
The man said, ‘The woman YOU put here with me—
SHE gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”’*
Genesis 3:11,12

We then talked about how, as Christians, we are to break old sinful patterns by going to God in confession and in faith.  We turned to the New Testament for direction and Sonia began to read:

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ,
set your hearts on things above, where Christ is . . . .
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature:
sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed . . . .
You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.
But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things
as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language . . . .
Colossians 3: 1, 5-7

We talked about the beauty of humility before God and the ugliness of pride.  We considered the example given to us by Jesus, as in humility He bore our sins rather than shifting what was due us from Himself:

“He Himself bore our sins in His body on the Cross,
so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness;
‘by His wounds you have been healed.'”
I Peter 2:24

Sonia continued to read, more softly in tone as we drank in each word:

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved,
clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness,
humility, gentleness and patience.
Bear with each other and forgive one another  . . .
forgive as the Lord forgave you.
And over all these virtues put on love,
which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Colossians 3:12, 13b-14

I told Sonia that every time I heard that passage read, the deep rumble of closet doors being opened sounded in my head and I imagined beautiful robes of “compassion, kindness, humility’, gentleness, patience and love” waiting to be taken out and worn–to cleanse our hearts and make us whole.

As Sonia read the concluding piece of the Colossians passage it was as if the words had come alive,

“Let the PEACE OF CHRIST rule in your hearts,
since as members of one body you were called to PEACE.
And BE THANKFUL.
Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly
as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom
through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit,
singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed,
do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus,
GIVING THANKS to God the Father through Him.”
(Verses 15-17)

As the room was engulfed by quiet, I wondered if the Scriptures had ministered to Sonia’s heart as they had to my own.  There was nothing left to be said so I asked her to close us in prayer.  I remember little of Sonia’s prayer except for these heartfelt words:

“THANK YOU GOD THAT YOU LOVE ME.
THANK YOU FOR SENDING YOUR SON
TO SAVE ME FROM MYSELF . . .
FOR YOURSELF.”

No matter where you’ve been in your life, God has a plan of blessing for all who come to Him through Christ in humble faith.  As I have chosen this path of humility in the most difficult of times–as well as in seasons of ease–He has proved Himself to be faithful.

May His Peace be your greatest gift this Christmas as you pray,
“Thank You God that you love me . .  .
help me to love others as You have loved me .”

All to His Glory!

*Emphasis mine.

 

 

To Speak Truth In Love . . . .

~ Kathie at HisGlory SM ~ 2 Comments

WORDS TO GROW BY:

“Then we will no longer be infants,
tossed back and forth by  . . . every wind of teaching
and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.
Instead, SPEAKING THE TRUTH IN LOVE,
we will grow to become in every respect
the mature body of Him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
Ephesians 4:14-15

When the miraculous working of God’s Spirit changes a human heart, it is no less meaningful than when the people of Israel crossed the Red Sea on dry land.  Yesterday, I was privileged to witness such a miracle.  I share it here to demonstrate the beauty that is possible when truth is spoken in love:

We speak truth in love

When she walked into my office, there was no hint of the struggle that had been ongoing in her mind and heart for a very long time.  I saw relief on her face, as I explained how we would be looking to the Scriptures for the wisdom and perspective needed to help her.  She responded by saying that was exactly what she wanted but hadn’t known where to turn.  She expressed her fear of receiving counsel that would urge her to follow her heart, knowing how doing so would devastate her family.

As she talked and I began to ask questions, her struggle touched my heart.  Married and with children, she confessed her unhappiness . . . her “discontent” that weighed so heavy on her.  Though tempted, she expressed her conviction–“In my gut, I know it would be wrong to leave.”

My heart quickened as I remembered a similar time in my life:

Feeling like a complete failure as a wife and mother . . . thinking they wouldn’t miss me, I had prayed: “Lord, help . . . .”

I remember, the deep silence that surrounded me before His voice spoke truth into my heart:

“Kathie, if your critical spirit would get out of the way,
my Holy Spirit would work a lot faster in their hearts and lives.”

In a split second, the pain of truth, spoken by God in love, seared deep within me . . . even as it’s light offered HOPE.  It was true, MY critical spirit had been a roadblock in countless ways, but I hadn’t seen it.  I thought of the prodigal son* who, “came to his senses” and returned home to the father he had forsaken.  In that moment I was both humbled and grateful to God, for opening my eyes to my blindness.

As I told my story, I anxiously watched her countenance, hoping that the truth spoken to me so long ago would minister to her heart.  As I watched, her face softened for the first time.  She was so absorbed in her thoughts, that she did not look up until after she wrote the words on her notepad–“CRITICAL SPIRIT”.  Only then did she look at me with a softened smile and (dare I say it?) a slight glimmer of hope on her face.  In that moment I knew that God’s words had pierced her heart and the possibilities to move forward were limitless.

To speak truth in love is a skill that does not come naturally but is worth cultivating:

  • It involves risk–that of being rejected by the one it is offered to.
  • It is a God-thing that can only be cultivated by investing quality time with Him.
  • It is evidence of a mature faith–bent on replacing old ways of relating to others with the love and forgiveness of Jesus.

The Bible talks about “putting off” old ways of thinking and behaving as we “put on” new ways that are pleasing to God. In the Counseling Room we look to Colossians 3 to gain insight into the process;

“Rid yourselves of all such things as these (put off):
anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.
Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self
with its practices and have PUT ON the new self,
which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”
(Verses 8-10)

To put off our old ways of relating to others, the Apostle Paul urges us to check our motives:

  • Manipulation
  • Fear of rejection
  • Saying what others want to hear at the expense of truth,

have no place in how we love others.  Instead, Paul encourages us on the basis of our identity in Christ (verse 12) as, “God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved . . .” to, “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” 

Paul says further in verses 13 and 14:

“Bear with each other and forgive. . . forgive as the Lord forgave you.
And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

So how can you develop spiritual maturity by speaking truth in love?

  1. Keep Christ central in how you respond to others.
  2. Prioritize personal time to be spent in Scripture and prayer to get to know Him better.  (The Journey Notes process is an excellent way to do this.)
  3. Join a Bible-teaching church for worship and fellowship with other Christians.
  4. Attend a solid Bible study that will encourage you to go deeper in your faith.  (Community Bible Study (CBS) has been a personal encouragement to walking my faith for over 35 years, but there are many others out there.)
  5. Prayerfully watch for ways to honor Christ, by loving and serving others in your community.

Paul affirms this in the rest of the passage:

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts,
since as members of one body you were called to peace.
And be thankful.
Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly
as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom
through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit,
singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed,
do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus,
giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”
Colossians 3:15-17

All to His Glory!

*Luke 15:17, “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death!”

 

FOUND . . . .

~ Kathie at HisGlory SM ~ 2 Comments

Is it possible to be lost and not know it? After my husband retired early this year, we camped across the United States and back, traveling close to 15,000 miles.  Without a doubt, we made numerous wrong turns in our travels, sometimes driving for several miles before realizing we were lost.  One advantage we greatly appreciated on the road, was having a GPS to help us navigate.  Rather than getting panicky or upset when we missed a turn, we learned to rely on “Hilda” (our name for our GPS) to help us return to the route we were supposed to be following without having to “back-track” the entire distance.

"Is this all there is?"
“?????”

Other ways we can be lost without knowing it are:

  • When we seek fulfillment by setting goals, achieving them, and then find ourselves looking around and wondering, “Is this all there is to life?”
  • When we put our faith in people and they let us down.
  • When we doubt God’s Sovereign Goodness and think He has abandoned us.

More shocking in our times is the lostness being manifested in a wanton disregard for human life:

  •  Of people who appear outwardly dead as they inflict as much pain and suffering as they can on others, before taking their own lives;
  • Or the lostness of those who champion the “right” to slaughter our unborn children.

John Newton, author of the beloved hymn, Amazing Grace, understood the depths of such lostness.  Having been involved in the slave trade for many years and as a younger man led a life full of debauchery.  Newton also knew the joy of having been saved out of that lostness by the love his Savior, Jesus Christ:

“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now am FOUND; was blind but now I see.”  
John Newton, 1725-1807

I too can relate to Newton’s joy of having been FOUND.  It has been 38 years since I understood the wretchedness of my sin and knew that, before a holy God, I deserved hell.  It was the worst day of my life . . . but it also was the absolute best day of my life after surrendering all to Jesus.

So what does it mean to be FOUND?

  • I normally think of it as an adjective: to come upon unexpectedly or after a search.

When I looked it up in my dictionary, however, I discovered that it means much, much more as a transitive verb:

  • FOUND–to take the first steps in building; to set or ground on something solid (a base); to establish (as an institution) often with provision for future maintenance.*

To be FOUND by God through faith in Christ,
is to be more than simply discovered and then set aside.  
To be FOUND by God through faith in Christ,
is to be established with design and purpose
in something (actually, SOMEONE)
outside of ourselves.

God has been kind in reminding me of these truths through two new Clients.  One has been established in her faith for many years, but struggles with the pain of a divorce and the challenge of raising her children on her own.  The other is very new in her faith and comes in every week excited to ask questions and to share what God has taught her as she has done her Journey Notes.  BOTH were encouraged and downright excited when we explored Colossians 3 this week.  Here’s what it says in part about being FOUND in Christ:

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved,
clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
And over all these virtues put on love,
which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
Colossians 3:12-14

Feeling lost or deserted?  Are you overwhelmed by whatever challenges you are facing?  Or, are you bored with your life and question God’s purpose for ever putting you here?

The question we must to consider is: Where is Christ in your life right now?

  • Is He merely a distant idea that floats in and out of your consciousness?
  • Is He at the foundational core of all that you care about?
  • Or is He somewhere in-between?

I have found much encouragement and direction in this prayer written by the Apostle Paul, and pray that it will do the same for you:

“I pray that out of the riches of His glory, He may strengthen you
with power through His Spirit in your inner being,
so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.
And I pray that you, being rooted and grounded in love,
may have power, together with all the saints,
to comprehend the length and width and height and depth of His love.”
Ephesians 3:16-18

All to His Glory!

*Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

Rule #1 . . . .

~ Kathie at HisGlory SM ~ 3 Comments

It began as a joke . . . “Rule #1”.  Three simple words born out of necessity–since our camper is equipped with comfortable sleep space and a kitchen of sorts but no bathroom.   Simply saying,“Rule #1” expressed  what was needed when “nature” called.  What inspired it?  I’m not sure.  Perhaps it was the thought of traveling together 24-hours-a-day, 7-days-a-week for two months?  Maybe.  But it more likely was an attempt to streamline communication between us–given that my husband’s communication style aligns with “morse code” (one and two word responses are his specialty), while my own falls more into the realm of “s~c~r~i~p~t” (using a multiplicity of delightful, descriptive words that, at times, turn into a maze if I’m not careful.)  Whatever the inspiration, Rule #1  not only reduced the tension that can accompany such a call, it also added a bit of humor.  In the end, Rule #1 kept traveling from becoming more complicated than necessary.  Even now, it comes up on occasion–though not with the same urgency–causing us to smile at the private little joke we share.

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart . . . your soul . . . your mind . . . your strength." Mark 12:30
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart . . . your soul . . . your mind . . . your strength.” Mark 12:30

In the weeks after returning home, I thought a lot about how simply saying, “Rule #1,” served to reduce what can be a potential stressor for travelers.   Yet, when it comes to rules, we humans tend to balk at the thought of our “rights” being impinged upon.  Growing up, I remember embracing the notion that, “Rules are meant to be broken” with a certain amount of glee.  That changed, however, after getting to know new neighbors who moved in next to my parents home.  Having recently moved to the US from Denmark, Henry talked about living in Denmark during the WWII Nazi Occupation.  What shocked Henry, was not the behavior of the Nazi’s, but “what neighbor did to neighbor” when the rule of law was no longer enforced.  I’ll never forget the look on Henry’s face as he talked about his neighbors doing, “things that would have been unthinkable before the war.”  Looking at the world through Henry’s eyes, I learned to appreciate the order and security that well placed and maintained rules can bring to society.

Reflecting on our own time, as secularism is so brazenly removing God’s rule–ie, the physical removal of the Ten Commandments in the public arena as well as the principles they represent–we find ourselves in a moral crisis like never before.  We have forgotten the simple direction of the Golden Rule—“Treat others as you would have them treat you”*–as we emphasize “building our self-esteem”.  The consequences?  Consider the warning the Apostle Paul wrote in what is believed to have been his last letter before he was beheaded for his allegiance to Christ:

“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days.
People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud,
abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving,
slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good,
treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—
having a form of godliness but denying its power.
Have nothing to do with such people.”
II Timothy 3:1-5

As complaints of loneliness and depression skyrocket and as we worship created things rather than our Creator, it is no wonder that darkness has become so pervasive.

The good news is that all is not lost.  The Bible tells us that Christ came to free sinners (you, me and our neighbor) burdened by our sinful penchant to live as we think best.  The declaration the Apostle Paul makes in Galatians 5:1 lightens the heart of the repentant as it speaks assurance to all who trust in Christ:

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves
be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

To surrender self-rule to the Rulership of Christ,
is to discover true freedom to live for, love and serve Him with glad hearts.

So how are we to live out this amazing freedom?  That’s where Rule #1 comes in.   When questioned about what He considered the greatest of God’s Commandments in Mark 12:30-31, Jesus narrowed our responsibilities down to two:

Rule #1: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”

Rule #2: “‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

Faith that pleases God is intentionally placed on Him, first and foremost–Rule #1.
It is the fruit of that love relationship,
that strengthens and blesses us to pass on the light of His love
–no matter who the other person may be. 

This afternoon my husband and I were waiting for a table at a local coffee house.  We waited quite a while until a table was vacated and gratefully moved toward it.   All of a sudden, a woman who seemed to come out of nowhere, darted past my husband and claimed it for herself!  I confess feeling a certain amount of irritation that raised very quickly in my heart as we moved back to the side and watched the woman and her husband enjoy OUR table!  I am embarrassed to admit that it took a few minutes before I recognized the opportunity to apply Rule #1.  When I did, I couldn’t resist giggling at my silliness as I decided to love that dear woman–she obviously needed that table more than we did!  As I reflected on God’s love for me, the irritation vanished as I gave thanks to God for freeing me to love Him as He loved me. 

As we determine to put Rule #1 in the forefront of our thinking,
the possibilities are limitless.
Without a doubt, this crazy kind of loving with the hope and light of Jesus,
has the potential to change this world one heart at a time!

All to His Glory!

Faith: The Grit That Moves Us Forward . . .

~ Kathie at HisGlory SM ~ 4 Comments

Have you ever wanted to run away?  In those seasons in life when we are hit hard by the pain of disappointment, rejection or failure . . . the thought of escape is absolutely understandable.  Many years ago, although my circumstances had actually improved, thoughts of running was hitting especially hard,  Tired of fighting, I ran to the Scriptures for the help and perspective I needed.  For two or three days I wrestled with my fear:“What if it happens again?”  When I received no answer to my query I changed my question to, “How do I move forward?”  

"Be imitators of God, therefore . . . ."
“Be imitators of God, therefore . . . .”

The answer was immediate and almost took my breath away when I opened my Bible and read:

“Get rid of all bitterness (and) rage . . . along with every form of malice.
Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving . . . just as in Christ God forgave you.
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children
and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us
and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”
Ephesians 4:31-5:2

As I was forced to face the basis of my fear–bitterness and pride–I felt as if I had been slammed in my gut.  Even so, I was profoundly encouraged by God’s answer to my question, couched as it was His reminder of my own need for redemption:

“Walk in the way of love . . . as Christ did . . .
who gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

The realization that it took enormous determination and a gritty courage for Jesus to carry out His Father’s Plan encouraged me like never before.  When Jesus prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done,”* He fully understood what was to come in a very few hours.  In those moments of reflection, I found courage in Jesus’s gritty steadfastness, to love, to forgive and to trust again as I placed everything at His feet.

These days many scoff at faith as being “naive . . . not in touch with the real world . . . a false hope for weak people.” But those who have entered into a faith relationship with Christ will tell you, faith is anything but naive.  In fact,

  • Faith faces the fact of our human condition before a Holy God–there is no such thing as a “good person”.
  • Faith recognizes that we cannot save ourselves—“For all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.”***
  • Only a faith invested in the gritty love demonstrated by Jesus, who knowingly faced rejection, torture and a very public execution, is a faith worth having.

Thankfully, it doesn’t stop there . . .

Faith knows that Sunday is coming and an empty tomb awaits for all the world to see—
Praise Him for a gritty faith that moves us forward,
to live for, love and serve Him with glad hearts!

“Yet to all who received Him, to who believed in His name,
He gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent,
nor of human decision or a husband’s will,
but born of God.”
John 1:12, 13

All to His Glory!

*Luke 22:42
**Maundy Thursday commemorates the last meal Jesus and His disciples shared before His arrest and crucifixion.
***Romans 3:23

Forgiveness: Facing-Off Evil In The Love And Mercy Of Christ . . . .

~ Kathie at HisGlory SM ~ Leave a comment

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
Matthew 6:12

It is difficult to make sense of forgiveness, especially when it is extended to someone who brutally snuffed out the lives of innocent family members.  Such was the response of a Lancaster, Pennsylvania, Amish community in 2006, when five young girls were brutally murdered and five others severely injured.  Not only did they forgive the shooter (who committed suicide at the scene), the Amish community extended their forgiveness by caring for his wife and three children who were left without a husband and father.

A similar scenario played out this past week in Charleston, South Carolina, where a stranger, welcomed into their church’s Bible study,  murdered the pastor and eight others.  Though still reeling from the loss of their loved ones, family members none-the-less made their way to the courtroom to extend forgiveness to the shooter as well as his family.

Where does such strength to forgive–such determination to face-off evil–come from?  After years of working with people in the Counseling Room, as well facing my own personal challenges, I can assure you that such forgiveness never comes easy.  Humanly speaking, we want to hold onto anger and hate; we desire to repay evil for evil.  Yet even from a health perspective, we know that to allow such things to hold sway for very long, is to allow the acidic erosion of our thinking to separate us from the God who saves.  James 4 speaks to the inward struggle we face:

"What causes fights and quarrels among you?" James 4:1
“What causes fights and quarrels among you?” James 4:1

“What causes fights and quarrels among you?
Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?
You desire but do not have, so you kill . . . .You do not have because you do not ask God.
When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives,
that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”
James 4:1-3

The good news is that God desires better for us and calls us to Himself as the Shepherd of our hearts.  In the end, forgiveness is God’s means of deepening a faith relationship between Himself and His people.  Jesus said,

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.
Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.… “
Matthew 11:28, 29

That rest for your souls, is embedded in the knowledge that God, who is merciful as well as just, will not forget the burden you surrendered to Him.  If not repented of, God’s justice will prevail.  With this in mind, God asks but one question, “Will you trust Me in this?”

Forgiveness, pure and simple, is a God-thing . . . it is not something we can conjure up alone.  What is the critical ingredient needed to face-off evil when life hits us hard?  Forgiveness . . . that is grounded in the love and mercy of Jesus.  As forgiveness is applied in humility and faith, the evidence of God’s Presence in the hearts of His people is revealed.  

The declaration Paul made to his friends in Galatia, when they were in danger of entering into the bondage of legalism, is a good reminder to us when we are tempted to hold on to bitterness and anger:

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
Galatians 5:1

  • Forgiveness is a decision, that reflects the mercy received through God’s only Son.
  • Forgiveness comes alive and is believable, only as acts of mercy follow it.
  • Forgiveness chooses, to trust in God’s ultimate justice.

Forgiveness is the ultimate means whereby God’s people are truly freed–
to live for, love and serve Him with glad hearts.

All to His Glory!